Bad news. No more Sprout.

It's been a really. hard. week. I'm not much for talking about it anymore. So I'm sorry if I clam up with anyone if you try to talk to me about it. I might talk about it, but I don't want anyone to be hurt if I don't. I just can't verbalize how I'm feeling sometimes. Adam had a hard time with this on Monday, and yesterday. After I had time to sort through my thoughts and get the mental rattling to stop long enough that I could speak clearly, we were able to talk about it. I think I've talked and cried myself out the past three days. Now, I am just tired. I haven't felt real well the past few days either, so I'm sure that's not helping any. My body is just doing some really disgusting things right now and it's not being very nice to me.

I don't know what his plan is ( that man upstairs) but I've trusted him in better and in worse situations...and everything has always come out okay. I trust him this time. If it just wasn't meant to be right now, there is a greater reason than that which I can wrap my head around at this moment. Though it sucks. The disappointment, and all of that....I'm trusting him. When it's time...we'll have a baby. And if we don't, than I have to trust that his reasons are bigger than my desires, and as with everything, some day, down the road, I will know why.

Next time, and I pray that there is a next time very soon...I think I will keep it quiet for a little while. It's painful to go through no matter what, but it is embarrassing to have to announce bad news as well. I hope you all understand and that soon I will have much better news to share.