Notice subtitle of the glorious baby growth chart above

"Soon mommy's breasts will be giving Pamela Anderson's a run for their money"

O lil' growing peanut child in my womb.....if you had any freaking idea how bad these suckers hurt right now...that wouldn't seem as entertaining as it does.

I roll over in the middle of the night...so do my boobs....one achingly following the other.

I get up in the morning...phlump phlump....my boobs plop out of bed as well, reminding me that today will be another day in throbbing "paradise".

I get dressed in the morning, and my beloved Brallelujah now sings just that to me, promising to swaddle these poor hurting souls throughout the day...."ahhh there is some relief". For the first time in my life, with the exception of post partum, when it makes sense that these things would hurt this bad because there's actually something filling them, I've considered inserting frozen breast pads into my bra just to relieve the feeling that I have of two very engorged water balloons sitting in my bra.

I walk past my adored husband....the highlight of his day is his evening BUMP into me, (which has now replaced the kiss I used to get at the door) or if he forgets about his fascinating new hobby, he'll remember somewhere around dinner time and lovingly rub up against what he knows are very, very swollen, sore boobies. Or ocassionally he just blatantly reaches out and cups them with a hand or sometimes with both and gives them a SQUEEZE "Geesh, are they going to get bigger?!!" ( this is the 15 year old inside him that has just discovered that girls look "different" than he does....and he just can't resist wanting to GRAB them.) Note to husband....if you do this ONE MORE TIME....your very pregnant, very moody, very sore boobied wife will return the favor in a not so pleasant death grip in a place that may make you sing pitches you've never sang before. SO BACK OFF! (writhing in pain)

ay-yi-yi....can we move on to the next part yet, please?